El sexo y la relación de pareja tras el nacimiento del bebé

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pareja

Sois muchas mamis las que me habéis escrito pidiéndome por favor que tratara este tema, que es algo que preocupa, y mucho, no sólo a las mujeres, sino también a un alto porcentaje de hombres.

Es un tema complejo y, como en todo lo que rodea a la maternidad, no hay reglas, pero os daré algunos consejos.

Hay mujeres que me comentan que tras el parto y durante algunos meses casi, y sin casi,  les molestaba la presencia de sus parejas. Hay alguna que me ha llegado a confesar que le provocaba hasta asco verle, sentía la necesidad de apartarlo. Otras explican cómo tras el parto perdieron el apetito sexual y hasta pensaron que se había acabado todo con sus parejas.

Todo esto y miles de cosas más, son normales.

El cansancio, las hormonas, el miedo al dolor, a quedarse de nuevo embarazadas… son algunas de las razones por las que a las mujeres nos suele costar volver a sentir ese deseo. Otra razón de mucho peso es nuestro aspecto físico. De nuestro cuerpo hablaremos en profundidad otro día, pero es cierto que muchas veces el no vernos como éramos antes, el no reconocernos al mirarnos al espejo nos hace vulnerables e inseguras.

Y a todo esto se suma un problema gordo. Normalmente no hablamos las cosas con nuestra pareja.

Y nos encontramos en la situación de que él quiere, intenta, pide… y nosotras simplemente negamos.

Y aquí está el mayor error.

Es muy importante que hablemos las cosas con sinceridad. Que le digamos a nuestras parejas que no nos apetece está bien, pero es mucho mejor explicar el porqué.

Cuando hablamos las cosas dejamos que la persona que tenemos delante entienda por lo que estamos pasando. Y si lo entiende, tendrá paciencia y nos ayudará a superar nuestras inseguridades.

Muchas veces el primer paso para que vuelva el apetito sexual es tener tiempo para nosotros como pareja. Si apenas tenemos 10 minutos al día para mirarnos tranquilamente a la cara y hablar de nuestras cosas, raro ha de ser que esos 10 minutos los dediquemos a mantener relaciones. Ellos están mucho más dispuestos a que esa sea toda la relación que tengamos al día, pero tienen que entender que nosotras necesitemos otras cosas de ellos en estos momentos. Y para eso hay que hablar.

Además tenemos que tener en cuenta que las palabras, los besos y las caricias son el comienzo de toda relación sexual. Muchas veces la mujer no se encuentra a gusto con la penetración completa, ya sea por miedo o por dolor; pero si pueden ser satisfactorias las relaciones sexuales por vía oral o táctil.

Si lo hablamos con nuestras parejas, ellos lo van a comprender y van a adaptarse a nuestras necesidades.

Y ahora es cuando alguna me dice: pero es que no me apetece ni eso. Y yo os digo que os deis tiempo. Pero que ese tiempo tiene que ser consensuado con vuestras parejas.

El deseo sexual no aparece de hoy para mañana, sino que es un proceso progresivo que requiere tiempo y mucho cariño.

Para los hombres: conquistad de nuevo a vuestras parejas, dedicadles tiempo, tened detalles. Imaginaos que volvéis a ser novios de nuevo. Sed cariñosos y cuidadosos. Intentad comprender, aunque sé que es difícil, el proceso de cambio tan grande por el que ha pasado el cuerpo de vuestras mujeres, y lo difícil que tiene que ser para ellas volver a ser las que eran antes de todo esto.

Con cariño mutuo, respeto y paciencia todo vuelve a la normalidad.

Una de las cosas que tenéis que tener en cuenta a la hora de comenzar a practicar sexo es que la zona está muy magullada. Está mucho más sensible de lo normal y para ayudar a evitar dolores o molestias es una buena táctica el uso de lubricantes. Usadlos hasta que los necesitéis. Pensad que tras el embarazo y el parto la vagina está mucho más reseca y menos lubricada en todas las situaciones.

Además puede ser una muy buena opción para empezar no tener relaciones completas, sino empezar como digo con caricias e ir aumentando progresivamente, para volver a acostumbrarnos a esas sensaciones e ir tanteando un poco nuestro cuerpo.

También os recomiendo que no dejemos las relaciones para la noche, que llegamos todas a la cama muertas de cansancio. Quizá mientras el pequeño se echa una de sus múltiples siestas nosotras nos encontremos con más energía.

Sobre todo, mi consejo es que vayáis probando poco a poco, sin prisa, y que habléis las cosas con vuestras parejas. Que no os de vergüenza decir cómo os sentís en cada momento, porque será el mejor modo de avanzar hacia la vida sexual que teníais antes del parto.

Bueno, y armaros de paciencia, porque a no ser que tengáis una marmota por bebé, seguro que os interrumpe en el peor momento. Pero esto debe ser una razón para reírnos y para volver a intentarlo más tarde, no para desilusionarnos y evitarlo.

Paciencia y mucho cariño.

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440 comentarios en “El sexo y la relación de pareja tras el nacimiento del bebé

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  30. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  31. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  32. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  33. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  34. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  35. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  36. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  37. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  38. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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  61. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  62. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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  68. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  69. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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  74. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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  76. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  77. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  78. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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  82. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  83. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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